The Almost Fit Basket

•June 21, 2014 • Leave a Comment

I keep a pile of clothes in a laundry basket.  It’s like a goal.  The things that *almost* fit set aside until they do.

From time to time, one should take a moment and try those things on.  I believe it’s very important to feel bad about yourself.

I recommend trying those things on when you’ve had an other wise good day.  Because the kick in the ego can be particularly harsh.

That was on April 10th. I stand by that assessment.

Two nights ago, though, I went through my basket; call it my bi-monthly check. I actually culled it down quite a bit. 3 pairs of pants came into the regular rotation of my clothing. 6 items I decided I didn’t actually like anyway and they had to go.

I don’t believe in keeping things in the closet or drawers that you can’t actually wear. There are things that I’m not going to throw away that I generally *don’t* wear. Well to be honest, I have enough clothing that hardly anything gets worn …frequently.

When I sit in this chair, I often have a new accessory: A Shoulder Cat. He hops up on the back of the chair and drapes himself in several different ways depending on his reason for the visit. He might be wanting to nuzzle my cheek to tell me “Bitch, it’s time to pay attention to ME.” Other times, he watches what I’m doing on the internet, you know, just typical supervision.

I keep setting this one aside and picking it back up. That last bit was June 7th. I guess this is the post that I add my little clothing rambles. Several posts went up thru polyvore. What a fun little toy that is! I could think about clothing almost endlessly so making outfits for ME is too much fun!

casual saturday

•June 7, 2014 • Leave a Comment
casual saturday

White

•June 5, 2014 • 1 Comment
White

Funnest Toy Ever

•June 5, 2014 • 1 Comment

So I have discovered something that could keep me busy for minutes and minutes! POLYVORE! It is so great. You get to create outfits.

Black and White

A Dysfunctional Family

•May 25, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Shit has got very real up in this bitch.

Today started very nice and then went to hell very quickly.   I got up early and went to hang out with my mom.   We went to the two thrift stores we like to go to. We had lunch.   We chilled a little at her house. I left about 4 and came home.

Everything was fine. Renee was kind of fussy and hyper? but I just assumed because it was past 430 and she wanted to eat.  about 20 minutes after I get home, I decided “what the hell” and went to feed them both right then.  But it was only her.  I call for him and he doesn’t come. It’s odd that he’s not there to see me when I walk in thru the door.

As soon as I hit the second bedroom, I realized what must have happened.  The screen on one of the windows had given way and there was DEFINITELY a cat sized opening.   I didn’t know if he fell out the window or if he climbed out.

I slipped on flipflops as I full on panicked.  Grabbing my keys and my phone, I did lock the door.  But all I could think about was my poor boy who has never been outside in his entire life.  Hurt or attacked by an animal or animal control got him.

I ran down to the courtyard and I called out “Kitty? Where are you?”  I almost IMMEDIATELY heard him.   He can be ridiculously loud when he wants to be.  Within 5 seconds I have located him.  He is down on the sunken patio of the garden level apartment below mine.   There is a big …I think it is a vault kind of safe out there. it seems just decorative but he has wedged himself almost underneath it and behind it and is absolutely unwilling to come out.

I knew that he was aware I had found him because he started yowling up a blue streak.  I think the translation was “GET ME AND TAKE ME HOME RIGHT FUCKING NOW!”   So while he is carrying on, Renee is sat at my balcony door and every time HE meows, she does too.  In solidarity.  I’m very nearly in tears.

Those neighbors are not home.  I do not know who to call.  I can’t vault the little fence around the patio cuz it’s about 6 foot high wrought iron poles and then about a 5 foot drop below that.   I’m pacing around trying to decide if this is worth calling the police when a neighbor pops her head out onto her balcony “WHAT IS GOING ON?”

“My cat accidentally got outside . he’s trapped himself down here. He’s freaking out and I can’t figure out how to get to him.”  LUCKILY – this girl works for the complex.  She has a passkey and she says “do you think he will hurt me if I try to get him?”  “Honestly- He might. I don’t know if he is hurt and he doesn’t like strangers in the best of circumstances. ”

Her:  “Right. You go in there and get him. ”

She opened that patio door and as soon as he saw MOMMY he started crying harder.  So I was sure he had injured himself.  But as I reached over and took hold of him, I touched paws, legs, shifted my hand under his belly and he seemed fine.

As soon as he realized I had hold of him, he was almost hugging me with his paws he quieted down for a second.  But almost immediately started yowling again.  “GET ME HOME RIGHT THIS VERY INSTANT!”

This is where the trouble started, I unlocked the door and set him down on the floor in the apartment. And Renee lost.her.shit.

She was growling at him and hissing.  Giving me dirty looks and trying to keep him away from her.   He was just terribly confused.   I was too, actually.  2 hours later she is still tripping out.

I’m not sure if she lost his smell and she thinks “NEW CAT AND THIS BITCH BROUGHT HIM”  or if she is furious that we BOTH left her alone for SO VERY LONG.  I’m betting its the smell thing so I guess I just need to wait it out.

Again with the title, we’re so dysfunctional.

 

Loose Threads

•May 22, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Have I said lately that I love Chipotle?   Well – I love Chipotle.   I have always referred to it as the “Subway for Burritos,” but sometimes that is exactly the ticket.

Not that I eat burritos.  I mean, I do, but Chipotle is for LOW CAL noshing.  My burrito bowl that leaves me stuffed is less than 500 calories.  Cuz I do not get rice.   I don’t feel it’s that big of a sacrifice.  Rice just doesn’t …do it for me.

This could turn into just a random mishmash of little shares.   Because I immediately went to change the subject to  “my pants are missing a button.”  I need to replace it. I can sew a button, as a matter of fact.  That is the sum total of my sewing skills, but I can sew the shit out of button replacements.   I hadn’t realized my pants were missing said button when I bought them at the thrift store. But hey, they were 25 cents.  One can’t bitch too hard at that.  Especially when they are so cute.   Grey capri cargo pants.

That was not my original outfit this morning.  It was a strange morning.  I had it in my mind to wear a certain skirt today. A favorite, grey tshirt material cotton.  I had thought perhaps it was a little big but then I got it on and realized “Yep.  Too big now.”  I was going to say “fuck it” and wear it anyway.  I had even decided on a pair of heels, though I would need to wear some sort of …stockings.  So I reached in to the place where they live and came out with this grey pair of panty hose.

Totally unidentified.  No idea where they came from.  I got them on with the shoes and the skirt and I looked down and realized.  “You look like you think you are a fucking figure skater.”   They were a little thick and had almost a bit of..sparkle to them.  Yeah, can’t be doing that.

So they came off along with the skirt that was nearly saggin’.  NEAR FASHION FAIL, lemme tell ya.    I did not want to change from the waist up so it was….fish around in the drawer..  GREY CAPRI CARGO PANTS.  “yep. this could work!”   got them on. Damn. button missing.  “oh well.  longer shirt.  WHO WILL KNOW?” AND I LOOK CUTE!

I love that it’s warm enough to wear skirts.  I will be rarely wearing pants from now on.   However, tomorrow is not a skirt day.  I always wear jeans and “completely cover the feet” shoes when I do a property search.  Cuz YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU WILL BE WALKING IN OR THRU.

NEXT ABRUPT CHANGE: I love when you say something that you didn’t intend for funny, and then the person you are talking to thinks it’s like the most awesome thing ever.   I hadn’t meant for it to be funny. I was just talking about LIFE..

In POINT:  Kitty.  He is a total pimp.  He even knows work days.  And even when I have a day off.. he is right there sat next to me on the bed, stroking me on the cheek or hair.  At first very lovingly  “Get up, Baby.   You know you gots to go make us that money.”  However if I don’t comply (and quickly), it gets less gentle very quickly: “Bitch – don’t make me have to repeat myself.”

 

 

New Words

•May 18, 2014 • Leave a Comment

I have been told on numerous occasions that I speak my own dialect.  I can’t really deny this.  I do have a tendency to make words up as I go.  I just figure if what I mean can be gleaned in the context of what I am saying, why shouldn’t I make English my bitch?

I read a blog post recently on Man Repeller that was dealing with exactly that.  A new word:  Turnt.

I am still trying to decide what I think of this word.  A while ago, a friend of mine was trying to get me on board with a few words of his own creation.  They were actually quite similar.

One of them was  creamt.   At first I was “oh, hell no.”   However, if I can think something through and get it to make sense to myself, why not?

Dream.  Dreamed. Dreamt.   Why wouldn’t it or couldn’t it work the same way for a rhymed word, especially when both words are taking the forms of verbs?   Once it worked for me, I was good with it.   Cream. Creamed. Creamt.

I’m not going to USE it, mind, but I don’t automatically feel as though “No, that’s wrong.”

Kanye’s word?   I don’t think I dig it.  Even though it could follow the same structure. …. No.

 
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