God is Hi-Tech

And God said “Leave Me a message.” And there were messages. And they were good.

AMSTERDAM – God is taking calls.

Dutch artist Johan van der Dong has set up a local telephone number in the Netherlands, where he urges people to leave messages for God on His answering machine.

Van der Dong said he set up the number to give people an opportunity to take pause and contemplate life.

Callers dialing 06-4424-4901 (or +316-4424-4901 if calling from outside the Netherlands) from March 7 will hear:

“Hi, you are speaking to God. I’m not in right now so leave a message after the beep.”

This is alternately making me giggle and stare off into space thinking…

For starters, it’s deeply terrifying.  God isn’t in? Well, where the fuck is He?  I am probably over thinking this, but it would have worked better for me if the message was “I can’t talk to you right now, so leave a message.”  God is *in* , He just doesn’t want to burden himself with the piddly nonsense of ours right now.  To me, that would have the clarity of reality.  My prayers are always like I leave God messages.  I don’t doubt God’s omniscience. I just think my bullshit is never that important in the Big Picture.

And I wonder what *would* I say to God? I think it’s easier for me to think about what I would not say:

“Hai”   “Please give me…” “I want ….”  

He already fucking knows, right? If I have to ask, it should be obvious to me, I’m not going to get it.  And if I were God, I’d forward the “gimme” messsages to Santa Claus, anyway. 


I’m not going to call that number, but I’m going to think about this for a bit and then I’m going to leave a message to God in the comments. I just have to plan what I’ll say.

~ by Layla on March 2, 2009.

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