Not So Helpful Lessons


So this latest personal anecdote comes to you by way of work and not so much in the car. Honestly, I deal with a lot more clownacy there than I ever do in my car.

This afternoon, I was at work and  in a perfectly lovely mood. I was going to lunch in a second, no one was bothering me, it’s Friday, and I was sort of coasting along at a nice clip. This old ghetto-y looking woman came into present an offer for an agent. And because of said lovely mood, she got a genuine smile and a “Hi! Can I help you?”

So as she was handing me the offer, she was like “Yes, you MAY help me….you MAY…..yes, you MAY!”

I was sitting there staring at her, my mouth literally hanging open. I got the power of speech back just as she left the office. And I swear to everything that is holy, I damn near pitched the paperwork at her retreating back.

However, blessed are those who know when not to throw things in the workplace, but as soon as the  sound proof door latched closed, I was not so blessed that I didnt shout at the door:

“I SAID EXACTLY WHAT I MEANT TO SAY!!! DON’T YOU DARE CORRECT MY GRAMMAR WHEN IT WAS PERFECTLY RIGHT”

Unfortunately, insult usually follows injury. Injury in this case was clothed in the form of my boss. Sticking his head around the corner to see what the commotion is. Me: pissed off and offended. Him: quizzically staring at me wondering if my little tirade was going to continue.

“um. Layla? Is there a problem?”

“YES! SHE CORRECTED MY GRAMMAR……” *his laughter cutting off any further explanation I might be going to deliver*

I am not, by any means, trying to say that I never make mistakes in grammar.  It might even be a bigger transgression for me, in that I almost always know what would have been the correct phrasing.  I am even guilty from time to time *of* saying “can I?” when “may I?” is the correct question.  I found myself having to sit down for a moment and think this one through to make sure I was, in fact, correct. 

I was.  I was not asking “Can I leave early?” or “can I have one of your Diet Cokes?” which of course, I am absolutely able to do both of  these things. But, I would be needing to ask permission.  Which, of course, I wasn’t asking the stupid twat for permission to help her. I was still trying to assess if I COULD, in fact, help her.

Correcting someone’s grammar often makes one look like a pretentious, rude fuck. Erroneously correcting grammar makes one look pretentious, rude, AND stupid. 

Ok. I feel a little better after this rant. We’ll just pretend that it did not take me a week to complete it. Just, old bitch, for me? pretty please with sugar on it: stop. Next time, I will throw something at you.

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~ by Layla on September 24, 2009.

4 Responses to “Not So Helpful Lessons”

  1. The pseudo-intellectual lady probably left feeling she had in fact helped you. Rid the world of another mis-spoken phrase then off to the car for a cigarette and clit rub. Your grammar ROCKS, fyi. You should consider a career in writing – start with something small, say, a bumper sticker.

  2. <3, Grant. 😀

  3. Great rant.

    And… I’m sorry. I hope you can forgive me.

  4. THROW YOUR SUBWAY SANDWICH AT HER!

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