Ruffles and Bows


The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

 I hate awards shows. Well, except one thing. I love to look at the pictures the next day and critique the fashion.  I saw the best site today.  I spent a couple of unproductive hours staring at the pictures and giving my opinions. Yes, The Fashion Police speaks. 

Penelope Cruz

Penelope looks magnificent. I can’t find a single thing to complain about. Hair, Makeup, Dress…it’s all good. The dress is a bit busy, i suspect, but the black makes it all ok. The whole little …flamenco thing just makes me smile. Pedro Almodovar would smile, too, I expect.

Amy Poehler

Amy Poehler’s scarlet dress is an absolutely stunning color. I am all about it. I think the dress itself, though, makes her look dumpy. The belt slightly irritates me because it makes the dress look like she ran to a fat woman’s clothing store and slapped the belt around under her tits to make the dress wearable.Hair and makeup and idea? High marks.

Anna Paquin

Hrm. Let me first say I hate this whole “front of our hair just falling out everywhere” thing. That single hair thing aside?  Anna Paquin is fine. I actually like the dress itself. I do not, however, dig the fabric. It keeps bringing to mind Klimt’s “The Kiss” which just does not work for me as a dress. In a different fabric/color? I’d give the dress a straight A. That maroonish color in the pattern would be killer.

 

Diane Kruger

First of all, the ruffles have GOT to go. Just..no. The white bow at her waist against that horrific color is covered in fail, as well. I like the hair, the makeup, the jewelry. I just think the dress looks like a flashback memory of some long ago prom in the late 90’s.

Heidi Klum

This is one of those that I’m not entirely sure what I think.  I like just as many things about it as I dislike. Heidi’s coloring allows her to pull off the strange color. I dig the dress itself, although I am not in love with the weird tulle ruffles at the bottom. I feel like a horrible bitch saying this (since I can be, I will just own it and go on) but the bodice leave a little to be desired. Either she needs a little more support, or she needs a little more bodice. In that dress, they should point north, not sag.

Jen Aniston

Ok, I love Jen Aniston. It seriously breaks my heart to say anything negative about her. But for christ sake, comb your hair. The “just fucked” hair is not fooling anyone. I would have really liked the dress, but the slit is too high.  2-3 inches above the knee would have made the look fantastic. But this just looks like you are trying too hard.

Kate Winslet

Ohhh. What can I say? Absolute utter perfection. Everything in that picture is perfect. Nothing should ever change. Kate has never looked lovelier. The dress makes me want to cry. Poured into it, yet still classy. Absolute elegance. On a scale of 1-10, Kate Winslet is truly a 12.

 

Patricia Arquette

I am staring at this picture in amazement.  Frankly, I am looking for something positive to say. The only thing I can see right off-hand is that I like the neckline. Other than that, every single detail is simply utter and complete disaster. Patricia, if  I could give you one piece of advice? Fire your stylist immediately. Or hire one. Stat.

I picked 8. There was a part of me that wanted to do it to every single picture.  However, I have a finite amount of time. And you, my lovely readers, have a finite amount of patience to which you are willing to indulge my passion for fashion.

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~ by Layla on January 18, 2010.

2 Responses to “Ruffles and Bows”

  1. Ummm… some of those dresses are… eye bleach, WANT! That pink THING was horrid. And the silver mermaid dress reminded me of tuna. I have no idea why. I’m glad I don’t watch those shows, and rarely look at the onslaught of pictures the next day depicting all of the fashion.

  2. gotta love the perfection and hot messes that show up to these award shows. I like Heidi’s dress, but on someone with a smaller rack. She’s just sagging down a bit too much for me.. lol.

    i agree with a lot of what you said.

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