Moral Dilemma.

Here is the scenario:

2 people are married to each other. The guy has a one night fling with a coworker. They agree never again and they never do again. Time passes and the flung girl goes and finds another job. Completely serendipitously, the wife ends up working at the same place as the flung girl. In an environment of  close contact, the 2 women find they like each other. As you probably expected, after a long stretch, wife finds out, but from a totally unexpected 3rd party. She falls out of her tree.

Yes, this IS a plot of a television show.  But I keep thinking about it.  What is the correct protocol in this situation?  Yes, I know. Flung girl should have never slept with the married guy.  Granted.  BUT-shit happens.  and in this case, it did.

Should the girl have avoided the wife? Should she have been “well I slept with your husband, but I’m actually a lovely person once you get to know me” ?  (That sorta begs the response of “yeah. clearly HE thought so.”)

In the above scenario, wife *knew* the husband had cheated (just not with flung girl).  She was simply angry that he slept with ‘her friend.’  That really does not make much sense to me.  It happened before the 2 women had even met.  It would be completely different if it had been a current dealio.  I’m not trying to imply that the wife had no grounds to be hurt and pissed and all of that.

I would imagine that the wife probably felt like a fool in the face of the other woman. But really? I’m not sure how else it could have played.  I suppose the flung girl *could* have owned the situation and then just let the chips fall where they fell.  Consequences to every act and all of that.  Not a very realistic idea.  The world is a huge place in some way, but in others it’s very small.

As we get older and our number of partners widen our ….personal circle of those  with whom we have been intimate, it also widens the *probability* of  stepping on someone else’s toes.  As I keep thinking about the scenario, I keep flashing backwards in my life.  I’ve never been involved in anything remotely like *this*, but there have been situations where there was the possibilities of …tree falling?

In some instances, I’ve chosen silence as the way to keep things smooth and in others, I’ve chosen full disclosure.  When I was the one who had to choose to stay in her tree or not, I’ve managed to hold my perch and I’ve also went smooth off.  It was always about the person who was telling or needing to be told. Not the romantic angle of the triangle.  I think I have always believed that there is a time to ‘fess up in every relationship.  And if you keep *those* things from them past that point, it is damaging.  However, up to that point? One has no obligation to share anything.

To broaden this back out away from me:  I think the other girl was wrong. But shit happens. I found myself feeling really bad for her.  Yes, she did something she shouldn’t have; but there was absolutely no malice towards the person she didn’t even know.  I like the wife, too, on this show, but in this instance, I find my sympathies are with the other chick.



~ by Layla on July 11, 2011.

One Response to “Moral Dilemma.”

  1. That’s why you stick to businessmen from out of state that make the occasional visit to your friendly town. Then there are no toes to step on, and the chances are closer to nil than any. 😉

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