Snitches Get Stitches


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Do you remember the old Glen Frey song, “Smuggler’s Blues”?   “…but the lure of easy money’s got a very strong appeal…”

I think that is the main thing. The Money. Otherwise, I honestly believe it’d be super hard for the IRS to get people to snitch on others, unless somehow it affected them directly.  I think most people are pretty much the ‘mind one’s own business’ type.

It seems like there are 3 kinds of telling.  The telling that happens when you use someone else’s wrong doing as leverage to minimize your own misdeeds, there is telling in order to cover one’s own ass, and then there’s just tattling for no reason at all.  I’m trying to think how IRS tattling would fit into that.

I am not going to say I’ve never done the middle thing.  I’m actually sitting here trying to decide if that’s bad of me? But I think back when those situations occurred and no, sorry, I’m not going to lose my job for your ignorance or take the blame for something I did not do.  Piss on that.  If it doesn’t affect me in any way? No, I don’t know anything.  I don’t know where you were last night, and I have no idea when you got into work this morning.

When we were kids, my youngest brother started out as a tattletale.  He fit very firmly into the former reason to tell, “For No Reason At All.”  It was a bad time for him to be alive.  Because as the eldest child and in charge a lot when the parents were not around, my rule in this was simple:  Unless there was copious amounts of blood involved or what was broken could simply not be fixed to a casual glance, YOU. DO. NOT. SAY. ANYTHING.

I really believe at first, my mom kinda dug the fact that she had a little snitch that was more than willing to provide her minute to minute updates on what was *actually* going on.  But then things started to change. I think part of it was that she had had siblings herself and she knew how icky a tattletale was, really, and she needed to break him of it. I think she also didn’t really want to have to deal with the little things that could have easily just been skimmed on past with all 3 of us shutting up about shit.  And also, I think she might have been a little  afraid I was going to kill him.

The tides started turning one night when he was taunting me with something at dinner.  “I’m going to tellllll…..” At first, I’m just giving him a dirty look, but then finally, I was like “Fine. Tell. I don’t care. But then tomorrow, you’ll *really* have something to tell.”  (Yes, the bitch made me put my fork down.)

I feel like I got in trouble for that, too. But, I didn’t care about that either.  It was worth it.  We rolled on that cycle for awhile, but then one night, I remember my mom coming in from work, obviously tired.  Tommy was meeting her at the door with his NEWS UPDATE. And my mom held up one finger and her voice was just exhausted and she’s just like “Before you say a word, I need you to think about something for a moment? Is this REALLY worth it? Because not only have I told you that you are getting too old to be a tattletale, but I have to work tomorrow and you’ll be with her all day long. ”

Also- it wasn’t too long after this, that he got into his “thug” phase and so he needed me often to follow the long standing rule.  Funny- the other day? I was helping him fill out a job application on line and it had this ignorant test and one of the questions was basically “would you tell?”  and he was choosing the answer “Oh of course not. Never not ever would I tell.” and I was insisting the *correct* answer was “Privately inform the manager.”

“YOU WANT ME TO BE A SNITCH????? “

“No, dumbass. I want you to get the job.  Back in the day? Remember? Mom was all “Are you going to be responsible and let me know what I need to know?”  “OH YOU KNOW IT”  and then what? “OH I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT!!! SORRY!”

“YEAH! YOU’RE RIGHT!”

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~ by Layla on September 14, 2011.

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