Here’s *Your* Sign, Ninja


This morning I was listening to Bill Engvall on the radio as I drove to work.  Normally, I find him mildly amusing and his signature bit  “Here’s Your Sign”  can often be worthy of a chuckle.

The title for his debut album is an umbrella term for a recurring setup of Engvall’s, in which Engvall describes people who ask questions to which the answers should be obvious, and in the process, Engvall shows these people to be stupid. With the tag, “Here’s Your Sign”, Engvall then metaphorically gives these people a sign declaring their stupidity as a warning to others interacting with this person.

We’ve all had “here’s your sign” moments – I’m willing to admit that as often as I’ve “handed out the sign,” I could have been handed one just as many times. Luckily, I  am struggling to find an example of the latter.  I have no doubts I could ask any number of people and they could come up with one quickly, but I’m fine with just leaving those moments in the past.  As to the former, I remember when my ex and I got married. We’ve got all these people with us and we’re walking thru the casino …him in a tux, me in a white dress carrying flowers.  *SEVERAL* people stopped us – “oh!!!!!!!!! Are you getting married?”   After about the 4th time, yes, I totally admit I was completely “What? Oh no..lol.We just ran out of clean clothes.”

I don’t even need to be imbibed with the Christmas Spirit to see that “Ok, yeah, kind of bitchy there, Hooker”  I will own that. But SO FRUSTRATING to deal with absolutely obvious questions even when I realize that people are asking only cuz they are interested or whatever..

Which brings me to my point. I am listening along and Engvall is in his schtick ..which in this case was “HOLIDAY HERE’S YOUR SIGNS”  …

Somewhere in the list he’s talking about decorating the exterior of his house with blinky Christmas lights.  The setup is that the neighbor walked over and said “Say, how do you get those things to blink like that?”  and that earned him “oh my son stands there and plugs and unplugs it over and over. Here’s Your Sign.”

That irritated me immediately.  I do not see how that was a “stupid”, “the answer should be obvious” question.  I mean, I get that some interior lights have a little fuse kind of deal that makes them blink, but not all of them. I think that was an entirely fair question.   I absolutely do not believe that there are no such thing as stupid questions.  There are millions of them.  But if the answer is not obvious, it’s not stupid.  And the sign should go to the answerer:  “I am an asshole.”

 

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~ by Layla on December 21, 2011.

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