Annoying Phrases. Part 1.

I Should Be Allowed To Hit You

Sometimes I shamelessly jump on the blog bandwagon and do little meme’s that I find interesting.  From “How many 5 Year Olds Could I Take”  to “Unfortunately, Layla…” sometimes I just feel it and I don’t let the dumbness of them stop me.   Other times, I avoid doing things it seems lots of other people have done.

When I found my inspiration for today’s rant, I was googling around like I always do and I found a TON of blogs that have posts about ‘annoying phrases.’   I decided that since my phrases might be different than their lists, I would just go ahead and do it, too.  In fact, I wouldn’t do this in one blog post cuz I feel I have full rants about some of them. And everyone had the same phrases.  Some of them? I get it.  Others, I feel like everyone is just copying everyone else.   And truthfully, I use some of those phrases and don’t really care if those bloggers are annoyed by them.

But ok.  “Literally.”  It’s just a word. I use it. Everyone does. But I get so annoyed when people use it wrong.  I hadn’t really thought about this until I was at the gym this afternoon.  I am strolling along on my treadmill which was one or two from the end, and these four or five guys, all of them early 20’s were screwing around at this thing they all seemed to be attempting pull-ups at.  A Pull-Up Bar? I don’t know.  It’s entirely irrelevant.

Anyway.  I can’t hear their conversation for a long time because I have on ear-buds.  But I took them out for a moment because I was trying to decide if the episode of “Seinfeld” on the TV right in front of me was worth plugging them into my treadmill to listen.  While they are out of my ears, I hear one of them say “Dude. I *literally* got up at 8 o’clock this morning.”

All I could do was just ..blink, put my ear-buds back in, and go back to walking with my music.  I found myself thinking about this.  It seems clear that being awake at 8 is noteworthy to this guy.  I’m getting that he wanted to stress this fact, but I hope he doesn’t really believe that he has accomplished something impressive to most anyone else.  Talk about some low fuckin’ standards.   Or perhaps he was trying to preemptively strike at anyone that might be getting ready to call him a liar  or challenge the epicness of his personal Everest.

Another misuse that gripes me is telling me that something is true that …clearly is not.   “It was the funniest movie I ever saw. I literally died laughing.”  Yeah?  No, sadly, you did not actually die or I’d not be stuck here having this inane fucking conversation.

The article I found that agreed with me was talking about different misuses of the word in many works of classical literature.  I don’t care. It is no less vexing to me.   Just because otherwise intelligent people use it, does not give everyone a license to be a verbal assclown.

Most people have seen the little cartoon in The Oatmeal talking about this.  And it has my all time favorite illustrations of a quotation:

…If you and I do not speak up now, The Homosexual Steamroller will literally crush all decent, men, women, and children that get in its way….


I feel like no one would miss *that* gay pride parade.


~ by Layla on May 29, 2012.

One Response to “Annoying Phrases. Part 1.”

  1. Dude. I *literally* think that steamroller is awesome.

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