Please DO Squeeze The Charmin


A couple of days ago, The Boss and I were discussing toilet paper.  Just because we were reaching the end of our supply, and we needed to order more.  I rarely let any consumed product  run out, but on the subject of toilet paper, I really do not like the office to even run low.

Mr. Whipple

I don’t want to tell you too much too soon, but Mr Whipple is more than just…iconic for me. He is soothing to me.  OK, I do not want it to sound like Mr Whipple is a sexual entity for me. It’s not that at all. It’s more that ..the idea of him soothes a neurosis or two. When one has those childhood traumas that spill over into adult life, Mr Whipple reminds that they do not have as much power as one thinks.

See, I have a brother with some…… bathroom issues. I do not know what they are, actually. And frankly, I really do not want to learn.  All I know on this topic is that he always used like a *full* roll of toilet paper every time he …went. You see where this is going, right? Growing up, we were *constantly* out of toilet paper.
A ROLL

The seemingly endless scramble to find Kleenex or something might have been bad all on its own, but seriously, the embarrassment of having friends over and there being a shortage was a lot worse. A lot of times, my mom would lock the supply of toilet paper in a cabinet. However, knowing that there IS some in *that* closet doesn’t help much when you’re sitting there without and she’s at work.

I think I was fifteen when she put a lock on my bedroom door for me. It wasn’t primarily about the toilet paper, but that I could keep my own supply became a helpful side benefit.  Dawgz had been stashing her own toilet paper in my bedroom for years before.  I can’t tell you how many gag gifts I received of toilet paper as a teen: regular rolls,  AND ONE THOSE BIG HUGE INDUSTRIAL SIZED ROLLS (I must admit that one was funny as hell).

I think I do remember it as worse than it was.  I know it wasn’t like actually a *daily* occurrence, but at the time, it sure felt like it.  But there it is and so I *have* to have toilet paper. A LOT of it. I buy the 24 roll packs for just myself. I don’t care that it’s a lot for just one person.  I need to know it’s there.  And when I’m down to about 10 rolls or less?  I go buy the next pack.

Last week, I had mentioned the diminishing supply to my boss’s wife. She was all “Oh. Yes. We need to keep an eye on that. We would not want to run out.” I smiled at her and said “Oh that won’t ever happen. Trust me.”

Advertisements

~ by Layla on June 1, 2012.

Got Somethin' to Say?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: