Midget Ape Bendy Woman

[21:22] (Kaiser): so this dream i had last night
[21:22] (Kaiser): i’m in a van with 4-5 other people
[21:22] (Kaiser): somethings wrong
[21:22] (layla): you’re in a van?
[21:23] (layla): that might be it.
[21:23] (Kaiser): we’re driving, and me and one of the girls are getting along really well
[21:23] (Kaiser): like, major sexual tension
[21:23] (layla): (is there a clown in this story?)
[21:23] (Kaiser): but theres this, force in the van
[21:23] (layla): (it really needs a clown)
[21:24] (Kaiser): evil
[21:24] (chocobutter): (IT style)
[21:24] (Kaiser): somehow we all know that it takes people over
[21:24] (layla): (down here, we all float)
[21:24] (Kaiser): and i keep getting visions of this half peeled, burnt up skeleton quartered to a rock
[21:25] (Kaiser): the earth is plagued by this shit
[21:25] (Kaiser): since im having visions, apparently that means someone in the van is infected
[21:26] (Kaiser): theres 3 girls, i tell them its one of them
[21:26] (Kaiser): i pull my chick aside and start making out
[21:26] (Kaiser): and these ethereal tendrils start coming out of her mouth, and i shiver and pull back
[21:26] (Kaiser): “whats wrong?”
[21:26] (Kaiser): “its you.”
[21:27] (Kaiser): we park at some convention center and get out
[21:27] (ophelie): i don’t think this story has a clown in it
[21:27] (chocobutter): wait
[21:27] (chocobutter): where is the fucking clown
[21:27] (Kaiser): everyone goes inside but us
[21:27] (Kaiser): we stay in the van
[21:28] (layla): yeah, the van passed clownville 2 or 3 miles back.
[21:28] (Kaiser): because i have this shit in me too now, and we have to be sgregated
[21:29] (Kaiser): so, she gets naked and hangs herself by about a dozen wires from the van ceiling
[21:29] (Kaiser): and puts on some kind of circ de soileil show for me
[21:29] (layla): ok. she hangs herself from a van ceiling?
[21:29] (layla): SO SHE’S A MIDGET?
[21:29] (layla): that will totally make up for the lack of clown
[21:29] (Kaiser): fuck you guys
[21:29] (ophelie): LOL
[21:29] * layla dies laughing
[21:30] (Kaiser): story over
[21:30] (ophelie): ok so she does her cirque du soleil
[21:30] (ophelie): aww
[21:30] (ophelie): i was enjoying that story
[21:30] * layla is ttly back in it.
[21:30] (layla): tell me more!
[21:30] (Kaiser): nope
[21:30] * layla takes over the story
[21:30] (ophelie): I’ll be good…i can’t vouch for layla over there
[21:30] (ophelie): YES.
[21:30] (layla): ok so the van? the dangling midget?
[21:30] (layla): and ME
[21:30] * ophelie listens intently
[21:30] (ophelie): LOL
[21:31] (Kaiser): she wasnt a midget, bitch
[21:31] (ophelie): (was picturing that anyway)
[21:31] (layla): well then TAKE IT BACK, PORCHMONKEY *
[21:31] (layla): cuz if i keep telling it, this shit is gunna get real.
[21:32] (layla): come on.. please keep going?
[21:32] (layla): i’ll be good too 🙂
[21:32] (Kaiser): okay
[21:33] (ophelie): oh that didn’t take long
[21:33] (Kaiser): FULL SIZED WOMAN is hanging from the van roof
[21:33] (layla): LMAO
[21:33] (ophelie): lol
[21:33] (Kaiser): her thing only lasts for like 10 seconds
[21:33] (chocobutter): Hahah
[21:33] (chocobutter): wtf is happening
[21:33] (Kaiser): then shes off the wires and wants to fuck
[21:34] (Kaiser): but when i put it in, everything goes wrong
[21:34] (chocobutter): LMAO
[21:34] (chocobutter): OH SHIT
[21:34] (ophelie): (you don’t like fuck her with the wires right?)
[21:34] (Kaiser): it made no difference to me at the time because in a dream shit is normal that shouldnt be
[21:35] (chocobutter): (ttly picturing some midget ape bendy woman being blown into particles by Kaiser’s dick)
[21:35] (Kaiser): no
[21:36] (Kaiser): its like shes a woman, and then i blink, and i have my dick in this moving, talking person collection of raw meat, bone, like some shit that just came from a slaughterhouse
[21:36] (chocobutter): LMFAO
[21:36] (chocobutter): fuck
[21:36] (chocobutter): stop
[21:36] (chocobutter): please
[21:36] * layla just puts her hand over her mouth and twitches to be good
[21:36] (Kaiser): and i try to fuck it, but thank god, even in a dream i cant keep hard with this
[21:37] (chocobutter): wow
[21:37] (chocobutter): Kaiser
[21:37] (chocobutter): god
[21:37] (Kaiser): somehow it was a shortfall of MINE, and she gets indignant and leaves
[21:37] (chocobutter): …wow
[21:37] (chocobutter): HAHAHAHHAHH
[21:37] * chocobutter chokes
[21:37] (Kaiser): so i go inside with everyone else
[21:37] (ophelie): lol
[21:37] (Kaiser): and on TV, we see nuclear weapons erupting all over a world map
[21:38] (Kaiser): then someone leaves with the van, which had my spare clothes, and a bunch of boring shit happened with me tryin gto get them back
[21:38] * layla takes her hand off her mouth to whisper “like Bill and Ted?”
[21:38] * ophelie claps
[21:38] (ophelie): lol
[21:38] (Kaiser): i havent seen bill and ted
[21:38] (layla): …

This is what happens when people are hard up for topics in my chat room.

*Clerks 2 reference


~ by Layla on September 11, 2012.

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