If You Can Envision It..


Yesterday I was in my boss’s office.  It was late Friday afternoon and while we had specific things to cover, it was a pleasant chitchat to pass a bit of those last slow couple of hours.  One of the things we covered was “due diligence.”  In that, it’s not always possible to secure the information that we seek, but in his legal opinion, it was better that we at least make the attempt to try.  I’m not going to bore you guys with the specifics of what we were talking about, but he had made the comment that if we hadn’t at least attempted to secure this certain information, he could envision that it could cause problems if we were ever challenged legally.

I then replied that “yes, if you can wrap your head around a bad consequence that can arise from an action, at some point, that very thing *is* going to happen.”  Perhaps that’s a cynical view of the world, but I prefer to think of it as “experienced.”

When I worked at the very last casino, I came back after a break of a couple of years.  I had only been working there a short while when I noticed a change in procedure that I found troubling.  See? one of the things we did as dealers when we came to a new table each round was count the cards.  We would approach the table, tap the dealer on the shoulder and wait for him to finish the hand he was dealing.  We would then together verify that the rack was the correct amount of money.  Finally he would clear his hands and leave, and I would sit down.

The first thing I did was change out the deck of cards and quickly count them.  Then I would shuffle and get the next hand going.  All of that generally took about 2 minutes if both dealers were even putting out minimal effort.  Not a big deal at all, right?

The problem was on the Omaha Hold-‘Em tables.  Someone had the brilliant idea that the best way to do this was to immediately begin a hand and then you could count the cards when you finished that first hand.  That’s all fine and good, in theory.

Omaha is a variation of Texas Hold-‘Em.  In the former, you get four cards in your hand instead of the two you receive with the latter.  There are also 5 community cards  in which to build your hand.  The other biggest difference between Omaha and “regular” hold-’em is that with Omaha, you must use 2 cards in your hand and 3 cards on the board.  Whereas with regular Hold-‘Em, you build the best hand you can given the 7 cards you are playing with.

Again, in theory, this is a very slick idea.  If the table is full, the dealer has delivered 40 cards of the deck to start with.  The dealer would conduct the first round of betting, pull in the pot and then “burn and turn.”   That means that the first card is discarded and then you deal out 3 more cards.  These first 3 cards are “the flop.”  Now the dealer has used 44 cards.

He would do the 2nd round of betting and then he would burn and turn the 1 card that makes up “The Turn”.  He now has used 46 cards.  He conducts the 3rd round of betting, and then finally, he burns and turns one last time, “The River” card.   Once he starts that final round of betting, and having used 48 cards, he can just glance down at his hand to verify that there are 4 cards left in his hand.

That was exactly what I took issue with immediately.  And immediately start in bitching to the assistant manager of the poker room who happened to be on duty the night I noticed this.  “Well this is the most asstarded thing I’ve ever heard of in my life and FRAUGHT with problems.”

Him:  “I don’t understand what your problem is Layla. This saves time and the players like it cuz they feel they can generally get one extra hand.”

Me:  “Piss on the players. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WHEN THE DEALER HAS 3 OR 5 CARDS IN HIS HAND AT THAT POINT IN THE GAME?”

Him:  “Shut up and go on break, Layla.”

Me: “Whatevs. *and proceeded to leave*”

Ok, it wasn’t even six weeks when that very thing happened.  The dealer spread the cards and had three.  Chaos.  It was ugly.  Needless to say, the rules changed back quickly.  I, of course, oh so helpfully, was all “hahahah I TOLD YOU.”   I only got “Shut up and go on break, Layla” for my efforts at assistance.

It’s not possible to foresee every possible clusterfuck.   You’d need omniscience for that, but it’s retardedly negligent in my opinion to clearly envision a problem and not take steps to avoid it when it is entirely controllable.

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~ by Layla on October 13, 2012.

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