You Are What You Eat.

Book Cover

Every so often a book comes along that creates a divisive turmoil in me. Sometimes these books make me angry; sometimes they make me shake my head in wonder as to why exactly I read it; sometimes it takes months for me to really understand just how impactful the book was to me, which helps clear some of the fog or guilt or happiness or sadness or whatever I felt while reading it. THE PARTICULAR SADNESS OF LEMON CAKE is such a book. Let me first say that this is my first Aimee Bender experience, and though I will rant and rave about certain issues I had with the book, I will more than likely seek out other works by her.

I saw that when I went to Google this book after I finished reading it. I told Mr. L just last night that it was only barely holding my attention. That changed as I slipped deeper and deeper in,  this afternoon.  I felt so very sad as I read it. Unfortunately, it was not that voyeuristic sadness that one (ok *I*) feels for the characters in their story. The kind that makes crying over a book SO fucking satisfying.

I’m unfamiliar with feeling this way, personally, after I read a book.  And I can’t understand why I am feeling.   I am not a person who is comfortable feeling emotions for “no apparent reason.”   Yes, I spend quite a lot of time analyzing myself.

Earlier, I tried a new recipe.  “2 ingredient pumpkin brownies.”   And when I sampled my work, I spent extra time chewing.. Yeah, I was checking to see if I could taste any emotions… I couldn’t. I tasted that they were a bit chewier than I would have hoped and I was all together uncomfortable with the color, an almost full black.

I am sitting here comparing this book to the last book I read.  A few days ago, I finished Charles Bukowski’s “Women.”  As I also told Mr L in that same conversation, I finished the book and “it was ok and all, like I never thought about putting it down.”  But my first thought upon finishing it was “Well.. that was pointless.”

I want a book to influence me in some way, absolutely.  Even if it was just an appreciation and a memory of the *story*.  I felt that “Women” was sorely lacking in that.  Lemon Cake… I get the impression I’m taking things away from it and I’m not even sure what I’m carrying.


~ by Layla on November 10, 2012.

One Response to “You Are What You Eat.”

  1. I actually wanted to update and say. I was just chatting with The Tutor and she said “you know…. I’ve not read it myself but a couple of my friends said the *exact* same thing”


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