Dear Santa


Hey, Santa Claus, you cunt, where’s my fuckin’ bike? I’ve unwrapped all this other junk and there’s nothing that I like. I’ve wrote you a fuckin’ letter and I came to see you twice. You want-ad geriatric fart, you forgot my fuckin’ bike.

If I’d have wanted a pair of bloody phones, I would have bloody asked. And this cowboy suit and ping-pong set, you can shove right up your ass! You stuffed my bloody order up, it’s enough to make you spew. But it’s not just me that’s snarky, my sister’s dirty, too:

Hey, Santa Claus, you cunt, where’s me fuckin’ pram? you promised me you’d send me one and you remember who I am. Cuz I’m the little girl who you made sit right on your hand… I’ll give you fuckin’ “ho ho ho,” you forgot my fuckin’ pram!

That is one of my favorite Christmas songs!

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~ by Layla on December 11, 2012.

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