Retarded Three Year Olds

I once heard a comedian (Unfortunately, I can not remember who) refer to cats as being extremely like retarded three-year-olds.  If you have a cat living with you, I bet you’ll agree, too.

Cats are often portrayed as regal and commanding. Surem they can be.  But they are also clumsy, goofy, whiny and needy. None of those traits really equate “Retarded,” I know. But sometimes they just….are.

I have 2.  My male can snap a fly out of the air. I’ve seen him do it numerous times.  He just watches, waits, and grabs the fly with a curled paw. He then pops it into his mouth and eats it.  Which, while it disgusts me, it also makes me proud that he eats his kills.   The little female……can’t manage that.

However, last night, she was supervising my “just before bed” trip to the restroom.  Whilst peeing, I notice this spider.  it’s almost microscopic on the floor about 2 feet from me.  I had planned on just ignoring it. We didn’t seem to be bothering each other.  But she noticed it very quickly after I did.  And she scurried over,  banged a paw on it a few times, and then she ate her kill, too.

When the male does his thing, he never even breaks his stride: “all in a day’s work.”   Not her.  She was SO PROUD OF WHAT SHE JUST DID.  She was all puffed up with pride as she turned to look at me with big eyes and “MREOWWWW MREOWWWW!!!”   One does not have to have a degree in animal husbandry to recognize “CHECK *THAT* SHIT OUT!!!!!”

As I tried not to burst out laughing at her, I was just “yes, baby, you are FIERCE! You are a HUNTRESS!”   As soon as I said it, she pranced back into bed with her tail high.  She *WAS* the queen for the moment, anyway.



~ by Layla on June 11, 2013.

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