It Could Be A Weapon


Lately, I’ve spoken a lot about “injuries I have suffered,” and I really don’t think today I intend to deviate too far from my apparent new favorite topic.

My most recent is a devastating loss of some of my most treasured possessions. Yes, my lighters. My boss wanted me to come along with him for a hearing in Municipal Court today. I was more than happy to tag along. In fact, I was ecstatic. I hadn’t ever been previously.

I’m just bouncing along until we get to the secure entry. Not really a big deal, I think, because any time I forget my entry ID at my own building, I have to go thru the public entry and it’s never any deal. Just throw my purse on the belt and walk thru the ..MACHINE.

In municipal court though, I set off some alarm and had to pause in order to get physically scanned. I come back to see this woman just *digging* thru my purse. She keeps setting lighters aside. My boss is like “Damn woman. HOW MANY DO YOU HAVE?” (I HAD 6. SIX INCREDIBLY COOL ONES.)

It still hasn’t really dawned on me yet. Until she FINALLY pushes the purse thru the conveyor belt (honestly, after all the burrowing thru my handbag, I saw no real point in X-raying it, too) and goes on about her business with the next person. I’m sat there with my jaw hanging open and even ask:

“………………..seriously? You’re keeping my lighters?”

My boss: “Yes. Seriously.” I deflated like a balloon. For a split second, I was about to cry. But I pulled it together and we went on.

When we were leaving the court-house, I see some kid smoking just around the corner. I leave my boss standing there as I go tearing over to try to catch him.

“I NEED TO BORROW YOUR LIGHTER!”

“WHY YOU DON’T GOT ONE?”

“……I did. THEY TOOK THEM ALL AWAY FROM ME!” As he hands me his lighter, we continue to discourse:

“Someone else told me that. Why they do that?”

As I’m handing it back to him, and exhaling, “Cuz they say it could be a weapon.”

“Now how the fuck you weapon a lighter?”

“RIGHT? Thank you.”

R, who had patiently waited for me during my little..think tank, just rolled his eyes as we strolled back to our office.

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~ by Layla on September 18, 2013.

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